Without You
by NightShadow131
Summary: Death is not something one takes lightly, especially not when that same death may be the cause of another as they are forced to watch one they love crumple beneath his despair. Is it too late for him?


**Disclaimer**: I do not own LotR.

**Warning**: Keep in mind the genre.

So, here's another one-shot to add to my ever-growing collection. -.- I really need to get some multi-chaptered ones goin' on. I do have one in progress. n.n

Well, let me know what ya think, alright?

Enjoy. n.n

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**Without You**

Estel pushed an unsuspecting Legolas into the river. The blonde came up, sputtering and yelling at the human, golden hair matted to his face in disarray.

Estel fell to the ground laughing hysterically.

…

He sat in a tree, peering out at the land before him, on the lookout.

Estel suddenly popped up next to him, startling him. The sound of laughter rang loudly as Estel threw his head back.

"I told you I could do it!" he said with mirth, grin gracing his features.

…

Estel, Elladan and Elrohir advanced towards him with maiden's clothing, make-up and accessories, a wild gleam in each of their grey eyes.

He ran from his friends, knowing them and that glint all too well. Finally, he was caught and forced into submission.

The three laughed as they inspected their work while Legolas stood there in a purple dress, ribbon in his hair, holding it up, his warrior braids still in place, make-up appropriately.

Tears streamed down their faces as they could do nothing to stop their continuous laughter.

…

Estel threw a bucket full of ice-cold water on him while he was resting before the fireplace after a long ride from Mirkwood.

He jolted wide-awake and chased after the human once over his initial shock as he shouted in anger.

…

Estel threw food at him, at first in anger, and then in jest as he realized what he had done. His frown turned into a mischievous grin.

Legolas ducked but that did nothing when Elladan and Elrohir came up from behind and smashed food in his hair.

…

Estel pulled him close, wrapping an arm around his shoulder caringly, whispering soothing words as he leaned into the man for comfort. The fire crackling behind them, the only witness to the tears Legolas shed.

…

Estel smiled sadly down at him and he pressed his fingers against the wound in his side as it kept bleeding.

Estel frantically tried to stop it and clean the injury, hoping that Legolas would stay with him.

…

Estel smiled at him as he threw more firewood on the dwindling fire. The human sat down next to him after, talking to him animatedly, a wide smile on display.

…

Estel's face crumpled in pain as he jumped in front of him, taking the arrow that had been aimed at his heart.

The young man collapsed to the ground soon after, killing a warg and the orc rider.

He fell to Estel's side, tears threatening to fall at the sight of the grave injury.

The man forced a weak smile, face already pale, breath labored as he held his hand over the wound.

…

Estel.

Estel…

Legolas sat in a chair, hunched over, staring listlessly at the still form of none other than Estel.

The poison too strong; the blood loss too great, Elrond had said, trying to keep himself together. Even then, he had blinked and the tears fell… and ran faster when Legolas had collapsed, screaming.

Legolas had paid little attention to anything after that. All his mind could focus on was Estel: the memories they shared, the good and the bad, the frightening and hilarious, the laughter and tears, the blood and sweat.

Now, there was only silence.

And the tears would flow again.

The loving smile was forever erased from the handsome face, pale from death. The emotional, deep silver eyes always filled with warmth now forever covered, closed to the world. The gentle, healing hands, never to touch or soothe again.

All of it, gone.

The images of past mishaps played again and again, limitless. All of the times one—if not both—of them should have died. However, it had come to pass; Estel was no longer with them and would never be again.

A tear trailed down the elf's beautiful face, stricken by his best friend's death.

He leaned forward, grasping a cold hand in both of his.

Darkness surrounded the two, the only light a candle in the corner of the chamber, Legolas refused to leave his friend's side. The faint glow of the wood-elf growing dimmer as the minutes passed, his carefree attitude having already left with the shine that was once in his sky-blue eyes.

"How could you leave me, Estel?" he whispered wetly, against the hand held close to his lips. To feel a beat beneath his fingers, to see breath rise once more, to hear a snide remark…

But it would never be so.

Indeed, he did not even get a response; not so much as a twitch.

"Estel, mellon-nin, I cannot…" trailing off, he pressed the calloused hand to his forehead, tears moist against the skin.

The mortal had become a huge part of his life; one of the most important, without Estel…

He had known he would lose the dark-haired man. He had known, but he hadn't thought it would be so soon, so sudden.

Valar, what had he done? Estel had taken the arrow for _him_! He should have protected the young man, should have been more attentive.

He hadn't even been able to say goodbye to him, for he had still been unconscious from a deep wound to his abdomen and a gash on the back of his head. He couldn't even protect his best friend!

Estel had carried him to Elrond while he had ignored his own weeping wound.

"Forgive me," he said softly, voice thick with tears as he ran his fingers gently through the dark hair. The liquid continuing its silent trail down his cheeks, leaving dark splotches on Estel's tan clothes.

Legolas didn't know what to think anymore. He knew he couldn't keep his promise he had made to his best friend years ago. Estel had been near-death—if they had been any later in treating him, he would have died—and they had been trapped in the snow, the man had been bitten deeply by a warg and it had become infected. When he had thought there was no chance of survival, Estel had made Legolas make a promise.

"_Legolas," Estel rasped, licking his dry lips. The elf immediately straightened and leaned over his friend, listening intently._

"_What is it, mellon-nin?" he inquired softly, a warm smile on his face filled with sorrow at the hopelessness he felt._

"_I-I want you to make a promise," the man managed each word with a struggle._

_Legolas' breath caught in his throat, having a horrible feeling grip his heart. _

_He nodded for the human to go on, though the stormy eyes had closed._

_Still, Estel continued, "I want you to promise me that you shall go on."_

_The golden-haired prince shook his head in confusion, though dread raged with hope. "Estel, I do not understand." He refused to._

"_After I die…" the human said, his already quiet words getting quieter as they trailed off, causing Legolas to become alarmed and shout his name when no reply was given at first._

"_You will live. You are going to," Legolas firmly stated, fully believing it, though he wasn't sure if it was because of the despair already crushing him or if he truly thought he would pass the night; if he could make it until help arrived._

_The silver eyes opened again and the archer noted pain, sadness, determination, strength, but the glaze covering the usually shimmering eyes was lost. "Promise me." And the eyes said it too._

_Legolas nodded again, tears quick to fall. "I promise."_

Now he knew, however. He knew how badly he had lied. He knew just how important Estel had been and was. He knew how foolish, how ungrateful he had been for all the times they had barely escaped.

He knew what Estel looked like when lost.

He knew far more than he wanted. Nearly three millennia and he had never met anyone like Estel, son of Elrond, brother of Elladan and Elrohir, bringing joy back into everyone's hearts after the loss of their mother and wife; even with his own mother's death. Estel had always put everyone else's lives above his own.

Always.

Right up until the end, the end that had been far too soon, especially for one such as him.

Legolas laid his head down on the still chest that would never rise again. He shut his eyes tightly, tears squeezing through.

That was how Elrond found him, though he had fallen asleep, eyes still closed.

Elrond watched the scene sadly before he could bring himself to enter the forlorn atmosphere. It had broken his heart when Estel had been out of his reach; he had thought it would never come to this. To see how it had affected Legolas as the blonde broke down after he had been told the news and had seen the still body had torn Elrond's heart to pieces. It was almost too much to bear and the elf-lord didn't know what to do. He and his sons were greatly affected by the man who had changed their lives—they all were. The twins were consoling each other, being held tight in their other half's embrace.

He didn't know what they were going to do now; he didn't know what they _could_ do, for Legolas especially.

The prince, being exactly that, had little time to make friends or to become close to someone. He didn't think they could have become any closer with their unbreakable bond—even in death they couldn't be separated.

It was because of this that Elrond couldn't move the heartbroken elf from the chambers, death still thick in the air. It was suffocating. The only thing that made him able to stay in there was the despairing young elf and his beloved dead son.

Elrond couldn't tear his eyes away from the sorrowful scene; the longer he stared the more he noticed: the entwined fingers, the defeated way Legolas had thrown himself on his friend, the tears. A trail of tears stained the beautiful face; even in the faint cast of the flickering candle, he could see them. The fact that Legolas' own glow had greatly dissipated, did not go unnoticed and he was alarmed by this.

He was afraid that he would lose everyone he loved by losing Estel. He missed his youngest terribly and felt the pull of his own grief dragging him down. However, he had to be strong for Elladan, Elrohir and Legolas.

The whole of Imladris had been impacted. The halls were filled with silence in place of the laughter; outside elflings no longer ran and played. Estel had been well-known and liked throughout.

Legolas had formed the closest bond with the caring man, though. They had been together every possible moment, only separated by Legolas' duties as the Prince of Mirkwood.

Elrond sighed heavily and brushed a stray dark-haired strand from in front of Estel's eyes and smiled fondly, sadly, remembering the past years, all the years he had been blessed with Estel. A tear dripped below to his hand; he let the rest fall, unable to stop them and not really caring.

………

When Legolas awoke it was slowly, he found a blanket had been draped over him and he had been moved to sit back in the chair. At first, hope got the best of him and he thought that Estel's death had all been a bad dream. However, his eyes immediately fell on his friend upon fully opening them.

He put his hands to his face as if to shield himself from the scene as his elbows rested on his legs.

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"No! Don't take him!" Legolas shouted distraught, struggling against Elladan and Elrohir.

"Legolas," Elrond said softly, a finger to the archer's cheek, trying to calm him while the sight threatened to cause _him_ to breakdown. "Penneth, we have to. He cannot just stay there. He-He's gone." The words were so painful; he nearly choked on them. Unfortunately, they were necessary.

Legolas merely stared at Elrond before slowly bringing his gaze to Estel's covered body held by two others.

Suddenly, he went completely limp and caught the twins by surprise, almost dragging them down with him.

The grief was becoming too much, and they knew it. Struggling with their own grief and trying to prevent Legolas from succumbing to it was becoming more and more difficult.

Elrohir was the first to regain his wits and picked the blonde up. "Should I bring him to his chambers?" he questioned quietly. Oh what he would do to change these circumstances…

The elf-lord nodded. "Aye, I do not think he should be in here any longer," he said, looking around sadly.

The twins did the same, their eyes lingering over the various items Estel had sitting out.

Elrond looked back down at Legolas fondly with concern. "We shall wake him later when everything is ready. He will not want to miss it," he said, never taking his eyes off of the pale face.

They had decided to hold the ceremony that day and had known it would be hard to get Legolas away from Estel. There was nothing they could do about it, though.

Later, Legolas had been awakened to go to it and had stared listlessly at the new grave, still unable to fully grasp the fact that he would never see his friend again. He had vaguely listened to the things said about the human, all the wonderful things he had done, how much he meant to everyone, how stubborn he had been, how he would be greatly missed.

All past tense.

Afterwards, he had been dragged back to his chambers without a word or movement of resistance.

He was currently sitting up in his bed as he tried to figure out where he went wrong; why he would never be able to see Estel again. However, he knew. He knew exactly why. He was weak. He hadn't been paying close enough attention. He could have saved him. He should have.

Legolas heard footsteps coming towards his chambers but didn't lift his gaze even with the knock on the door. As expected, the visitor still entered, just quietly. He only looked up when his name was said with such deep concern lacing the sad voice that he couldn't resist.

It was Elladan and Elrohir who had entered, looking weary-eyed and filled with despair; they stayed closer together, needing each other now more than ever. They were surprised to see Legolas awake since he hadn't responded. When he turned towards them they blanched, seeing the tear-filled, glazed eyes that looked up at them blankly.

Elrohir placed a hand gently on the archer's shoulder in understanding. He knew how hard this was, for all of them.

They had come in there to try and reassure Legolas, to get him to eat. However, the younger elf would hear none of it. Truth be told, it really wasn't surprising, especially since no matter how much they tried, it was hard to get pass the blow on their own hearts.

The evening meal that night had an eerie quietness to it; one that had never been there before.

Elrond watched the two seats on the right side of him sadly, like their occupants were suddenly going to appear.

One of them was never going to be back, and he feared it was the same for the other. Estel was already gone. He just prayed they would be able to save Legolas.

Seeing how this was affecting Legolas didn't help his own fight. He was trying his best, trying not to succumb to the ever-heavier pull dragging him down.

The next few days were no better for anyone, especially not for Legolas, whose condition got worse and worse. Elrond and the twins didn't know what they could do; still fighting their own grief, they had tried everything that they could. However, they feared that there was nothing; that the young elf would fade. They didn't know if they could live through another death, one that was like a brother and son. And they didn't want to. They would keep at it. They would keep trying until they couldn't.

One night Legolas dragged himself to Estel's chambers, running a hand against the walls as he went. He breathed heavily with just that little effort.

When he entered the chambers, he stumbled to the bed, the lack of sleep and the vice-grip that tightened its hold weakening his body. If any of the others knew he had gotten up, even for such short distance, they would have immediately stopped the archer. However, they had also been greatly affected and couldn't help but sleep.

Everything had been left how it had been before Estel's death. The things that he had out on his nightstand still splayed out, the paper, the books, even his sword had been set there. However, what made this Estel's chambers was never to be there again.

Legolas collapsed next to the bed, hands reaching up and desperately grasping for what was not there.

His heart refused to believe what his mind could not: Estel was gone.

Legolas' eyes closed and his body completely relaxed, going limp as consciousness fled… with his grievous heart.

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And there ya have it. Like it? Hate it? I really like to kill off characters… Oops. XDD

I know the beginning is pretty lame, with all the cliché flashbacks, but that's alright, right? If not… well, then, sorry. n.n;; A couple of them are also allusions to some of my other fics as well. ..:shrugs:.. Well, I hope you enjoyed in any case, and let me know what ya think, alright? n.n

A multi-chaptered one should be up soon—I hope. n.n

Ja ne


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